Would I Change the Diagnosis?

I haven't written in awhile because my self concept of my writing skills have been lacking.  Today has been that kind of day when thoughts are swirling in my head like heavy knocks on the door screaming, "Please let me in!" and the only way to make them stop is to write them down.

I looked through my old posts and I could have sworn I wrote a post, "Would I Change the Diagnosis?".  I have memories of writing it or maybe I dropped it for fear that readers wouldn't agree with my choice of words.

So, would I change the diagnosis of Autism?  Yes, I would.  I am hoping that readers do not jump to the conclusion that I don't love my son for who he is.  This is the thing that I think of....I don't hate Autism, I hate what comes with it.

I am not going to go into a long winded reason why I would change the diagnosis.  It is simple. I want him to have what my daughter had.  This long list includes, friends, sleepovers, sports, dances, calls on the phone.  The list goes on and on.  The greatest reason of all is that I wouldn't have to see the pain on Sam's face after he has been rejected or even worse having seen the pain after being restrained by the people who were supposed to protect him.  My son's life has been filled with the kind of trauma that is not right, just or fair.

I have had the thoughts, "Was it my fault?  Did my medication that I took cause this?"   People have asked me for advise and this is what I believe, "Once you receive the Autism diagnosis, don't look back.  Don't wonder what caused it or if it was your fault.  Move forward."

I once asked my daughter if she could wave a magic wand to change her life to being an only child, would she do it?  This was her wisdom filled response, "No, I wouldn't know what I know."  I believe that even though I would change the diagnosis, if you asked Sam as an adult if he would he change it, he would say, "No, I wouldn't be the person I am today."  We are all on this journey for one reason or another.  For this reason, I now embrace life which includes my son, his different abilities and yes, Autism.

I find comfort in the list of people who have or have been believed to have Autism.  World renowned thinkers, leaders and  inventors including Emily Dickinson, Albert Einstein and even Thomas Jefferson are responsible for shaping the world that it is today.

Am I thankful for Autism?  Yes, mostly because I am thankful for my son.  I believe that Sam is among one of the greats who will make an impact on the world.  I believe he already has.

I leave you with this.

Definition of Mental

1. a: of, relating to, or being intellectual as contrasted with overt physical activity.
2. a: of, relating to, or affected by a psychiatric disorder <mental patient>.
b: mentally disordered, mad, crazy.

I choose being an intellectual as my definition of being mental.

*The photo that I use for my background was taken by Sam.