I have a bad habit of looking in his backpack in the morning 10 minutes before the bus arrives. I can handle difficult news better in the morning because I have all day to process. Sam having homework hasn't happened yet so I don't really have a specific reason to check out his bag at night.
I am making macaroni and cheese for my vegetarian daughter as the phone rings. It is the Vice-Principal from the school telling me that Sam was put in a restraint. She apologized for not calling sooner but a young man had set fire to his house and one of the victims was once a student at Sam's school. I was doing my best to hold back the tears because nobody likes the news when a restraint has happened. Also, the news of the tragedy wasn't sitting well with me.
I know that the restraint was followed by a time out in the Time Out room. So if you don't know, a Time Out room is a little closet that has nothing on the walls with a big door with a tiny window that is covered with a dark film. I know this because once I snuck up to the second floor, went in the Time Out room and closed the door and stood there. I had visions of my son screaming wanting to get out of this room. As a parent I am not allowed into my child's classroom for whatever reason so that is why I took advantage of the time when nobody was looking. The room is basically a cell.
The next day I am scurrying around trying to get something done because the time is drawing near when I have to drive the 30 minutes to pick up Sam from his school. He had an appointment with his counselor. I arrive at the school with his 1:1 telling me that he did well at ISI. "What is ISI?" is my question. "In school suspension." "What!" is how the conversation unfolded.
The next few minutes I am angry as hell. Why didn't anyone tell me? The phone call yesterday never revealed that he was going to spend the day away from his peers. He was alone with his 1:1 all day. I told the office staff to have the Vice-Principal call me as soon as possible. The phone call never came. While in the car I looked for a report that documented the events that led to the suspension. I found nothing.
I did get a chance to talk with his teacher while I was waiting for his counseling appointment. Something happened in OT and he was put in a restraint. I am fuzzy on the events because he was possibly put in a second restraint after lunch. His teacher went into the Time Out room where Sam started kicking her and trying to slam the door. I was sitting in the lobby at the counselor’s office with tears streaming down my face. She continued talking about how Sam has regressed in the last couple of weeks with symptoms of agitation and needing to be constantly praised. I already knew that he was sleeping a lot in school. Sam became angry because he slept during his turn at the computer for free time and after lunch he had to choose another activity. Why didn’t anyone tell me of his regression?
So what do I do now? I am still waiting for the phone call from the Vice-Principal and 24 hours has passed. I understand that they are busy with everything that happened with that terrible tragedy. It is hard to digest why a 15 year old boy would set fire to his house. This tragedy is specifically the reason why I am frustrated with the school. What does Sam have to do before extra supports are put in place? Extra supports should have been in place before Sam had a blow up. The school saw the regression. I just don't get it.
Maybe I will get that phone call soon.
Definition of Mental
1.a: of, relating to, or being intellectual as contrasted with overt physical activity.
2.a: of, relating to, or affected by a psychiatric disorder <mental patient>.
b: mentally disordered, mad, crazy.
I choose being an intellectual as my definition of being mental.
*The photo that I use for my background was taken by Sam.
