The people that are closest to me have said that they think I force Sam to take photos, that I am taking the photos for him and that I am addicted to facebook. I can handle these comments because you can't pick your family. I can pick my friends and when comments are made by them it breaks my heart.
I started a facebook blogging group a while back (Blogging Together for Autism) and I am so happy because we now have 42 members and there are people that blog besides me. I thank all my fellow Autism bloggers that are educating people how we feel living with Autism. We walk along the path of Autism with comments thrown at us every which way. We live and deal with these hurts through our writing. I also have to thank the people that read our blogs because having an audience is part of the fun.
I would like to talk first about this post about support from other states and countries. I have a high school friend that asked me to contact her daughter in Ohio who's son had a recent diagnosis of Autism. She is now my Sister in Autism. We had the opportunity to meet the other week and we talked like we have known each other for years. She gets it and in turn she gets me. She supports Sam and the entire family was happy to meet him. I really can't ask for anything more. I also have multiple people message me to ask me how I have helped Sam. I am fulfilling my dream to be an educator. The biggest compliment that I have ever received was from a Mom that placed a camera in her child's hands and thanked me because she would have never thought of it by herself.
So am I forcing Sam to take photos? No, I don't think so. If I become frustrated and ask Sam if he wants to quit he is quick to cry saying, "Mom, please don't take photography away from me." He knows he gets frustrated and sometimes he will only take a few photos and then call it quits. That is OK with me. We can take photos anytime at any place. Transitioning is so difficult for Sam and sometimes he takes multiple breaks with skipping stones in streams and dream about the next time he can go fishing.
Do I take the photos for him? No, I don't think so. How many people have been in a photography class learning about that great photo. Sam has a lot of natural talent and there are often times I have a suggestion about a particular place and his photo is always better. Sam doesn't like to take photos where there are lots of people and these situations are often too stressful for him. It is getting easier for Sam to take chances in his photography and it will get easier as he matures and is better able to handle the stress.
Am I addicted to facebook? I love this question. I probably am and I don't care. I don't have a lot of friends in my city and I am choosing the ones that I want to know and they live in other states and in other countries. I will never forget the time that my friend from Dublin, Ireland made a video for Sam. It was that video that was shown at the Autism Speaks Kickoff Dinner for their walkathon. I am looking forward to meeting her in her garden that she is building in her studio. I have so many people to list that are important to me and this includes my friend in Toronto who Sam and I are meeting this weekend. Her nature photography is amazing and she has an interest in birds just like Sam.
Do I have friends in my backyard? Yes, absolutely I have friends that I cherish. I am quick to think of the Mom that I email almost daily with our concerns for our sons. I often tell her how afraid I am that as Sam's popularity grows more and more people will be critical of me and how I live my life. I often ask her to please stay with me because I fear the lonliness that might come because people may be quick to judge me and the way I am raising Sam.
I would like to end this rant of mine with one request. Please respect the way I parent my child. I love the post from Single Mothers who have children with Autism that says, "Motherhood is not a battle against other mothers. Motherhood is YOUR journey with YOUR children. These are now my words that I will live by.
At the end of the post "You may be an Autism parent if...." it says, "How would you finish this sentence." I would have to say, "You may be an Autism parent if you have to ask your friends to please respect how you raise your child."
Sincerely,
Debra Pierce Bellare (Sam's Mother)
Definition of Mental
1. a: of, relating to, or being intellectual as contrasted with overt physical activity.
2. a: of, relating to, or affected by a psychiatric disorder <mental patient>.
b: mentally disordered, mad, crazy.
I choose being an intellectual as my definition of being mental.
*The photo that I use for my background was taken by Sam.
Definition of Mental
1. a: of, relating to, or being intellectual as contrasted with overt physical activity.
2. a: of, relating to, or affected by a psychiatric disorder <mental patient>.
b: mentally disordered, mad, crazy.
I choose being an intellectual as my definition of being mental.
*The photo that I use for my background was taken by Sam.
It angers me to hear that your family accuses you of taking the photos for Sam! We who care all know differently. I like your attitude about not being able to pick your family but can your friends.
ReplyDeleteMy niece's 2 1/2 daughter is not yet talking but I don't think she shows signs of having autism. However, she has one older and two younger sisters, so just may be overwhelmed with their chatter. I wonder if she's too young to perhaps try to take pictures? I will talk to my niece about that. Anyway, keep on what you are doing- Sam's photography is a blessing for him and for all of us who are privileged to see the results!