Here is what prompted this post. I was talking with someone and she said, "My friend's son needs to be in those rooms. He prefers to be in them." Whoa, did you just say your friend's son needs to be in those closets? My internal alarm goes off and my brain says, "Take a step back and breath."
I am surely not going to be the most popular kid on the block for voicing my opinions. They are just my opinions after all and nobody has to agree with me. My thoughts also come from my personal experiences with my child so here it goes.
1. I believe that there is a difference between a restraint and a hold. A hold is when people hold the part of the body that needs to be contained. I am basing this opinion on personal experience.
My first experience was when Sam was 6 years old and they had him face down in a prone restraint. They should be illegal and they are in only a few states. Three grown men had his hands behind his back with there knees on him so he couldn't move. Six years old. That is a restraint.
Grabbing a child and dragging them kicking and screaming down a hallway into a seclusion closet is a restraint.
Three weeks ago Sam was in crisis and he put his foot through the wall. They held his legs, Sam was face up, so he couldn't put his foot through the wall again. That is a hold. I sat and watched the entire thing happen. Nobody had the intent to hurt him, the only intent was to keep him safe.
There is a difference.
So what fueled my anger? Was it that I am sure that this person doesn't really understand the inner turmoil that the Mom (or Dad) goes through when these events happen? Or is it my own personal experiences that flash forward in an instant when comments are made regarding seclusion closets?
I am almost positive that nobody likes to sit on a hard cold floor leaning up against a cold hard wall with a prison like window. It is me that sits with the knowledge that I had an educator tell me that Sam chose to sit in that room.
This was my conversation with the educator.
"You mean to say that you had my son in that closet for 30 minutes?"
"Sam was only upset for 20 minutes and was calm for 10."
"You mean that you had my son sit in that closet for 10 minutes calm?"
"Yes, he did it by choice."
That afternoon..."Hey Sam, did you sit in that room by choice?"
"No."
"Did anyone give you the option to leave the seclusion room?"
"No."
I bet that the educator is telling that parent that their child likes it. I am figuring that the child does not have the oral capacity to talk.
I might be totally wrong. Again, I can't imagine that any child likes to sit on a cold floor leaning against a cold wall.
And of course there is the time when the principal of the school showed me their seclusion closet and said, "Isn't this nice?" GGRRRR. I told him, "No, it is criminal."
I have to laugh because I am still on #1.
#2. Say no to Seclusion Closets.
That is all I have left to say.
Definition of Mental
1. a: of, relating to, or being intellectual as contrasted with overt physical activity.
2. a: of, relating to, or affected by a psychiatric disorder <mental patient>.
b: mentally disordered, mad, crazy.
I choose being an intellectual as my definition of being mental.
*The photo that I use for my background was taken by Sam. You can find more of Sam's work at https://www.facebook.com/SnapshotsBySamMaloney
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